I know, I know...
...but nobody reads anyway! haha.

so anyway, I recently saw this video on Jeff's blog and I have fallen in LOVE with it! Absolutely stunning!



A light post for now, will update blog later with some heavier stuff.

I AM FINALLY ON SYNTHROID! :)
I never thought i would be able to say those words! But I finally can! I've been on thyroid-replacement-hormone for about a month now. I'm starting to feel better! :)

And now, for lack of anything better to post, here is my list of top played songs from the last month.

1. Dragostea din tei - O-ZONE. Known to most Americans as "Numa Numa"
2. White Lights - Deas Vail. Amazing Indie-Rock/Piano-Pop band. I would highly recommend!
3. Outrage- Capital Lights. Newly signed to T&N. Has a nice Electronica feel to it!
4. Gravity- The Fold. Older, but wonderful nonetheless.
5. I'm Not Over - Carolina Liar. Awesome break-up song. Has a slight electronica feel.
6. The Last, The Lost, The Least- Relient K. Off of "The Nashville Tennis EP"
7. Gravedigging- The Classic Crime. A very depressing song, but totally SWEET.
8. Get Ready (Hot Machete) - Jonezetta. The PERFECT dance song.
9. The One Thing I Have Left - Hawk Nelson. Classic.
10. Dead Man (Carry Me) - Jars of Clay. Has a retro-ish feel too it.
11. Dirty Little Secret- The All-American Rejects. So catchy.
12. The Call- Regina Spektor. Yes, you heard it on Prince Caspian.
13. This Is It, This Is It - As Cities Burn. Screamo-ish.
14. The Smile The Face - Emery. Screamo again.
15. Apparations - Seabird. Indie-rock/piano-pop. Awesome.

Music is amazing.

Lazy Summer Night.

I know, I know.
I haven't posted since April. My sincere apologies.

If I we're to describe my summer in one word, it would be:
"life-changing" (well, its hyphenated. that counts.)
In some ways it has changed for the better.
Other things still haven't quite worked out yet. But I need to give those things time.

Summer 08, I.
Oh the last bell on that final day of school. You can hear the high school students screaming as they run to their cars: "FREEEEDDDOOOOMMM!" Yes, i was one of those students. But in all seriousness, the school year was great: but I was ready for it to end! After the silly skit, lovely graduation, and barely being beat out of highest GPA; I packed my bags and headed for Nashville for Tate's fourth birthday. That was a blast!

Summer 08, II.
State Competition. After being so sick that we thought I wouldn't be able to compete, I somehow managed to place first in everything. Piano Solo (from the floor arrangements. got to love 'em), Individual Drama, and Computer Art. Tripping as I went up to get a trophy was also a highlight.
After all the competitors left, it was down to just me, and those who stayed for the MOFWB state meeting. We had a good time. Tornado warnings in the middle of the night are also fun. The only downside was being diagnosed with Graves' Disease. a very rare autoimmune disease that attacks the thyroid. The thyroid gland regulates how fast your system works. Mine works overtime. It has made me very, very sick.

Summer 08, III.
"Free Will Free Will Baptist Bible Camp. Free Will Free Will Baptist Bible Camp. Free Will Free Will Baptist Bible Camp. This is what it means to meeeee..." Camp was great this year! The services were amazing, the classes were amazing, the fellowship and friends were amazing...tripping fifteen billion times...not so amazing! I did get to play the offertory Wednesday evening, and for a pretty cool group from another church. Mikaela and I also had a great time one evening, dancing around the cabin like maniacs. I also, solehandedly, kept our cabin from getting "Cabin of the Day." I'm sorry girls, you know I'm not organized. But I promise. I'm trying!
A few days after I returned home from camp, we drove to St. Johns Hospital, and checked me in. I was to receive "Radioactive Iodine." RAI will destroy your thyroid over the course of a few months. After blood work (which took about two hours to take, develop, etc.) I was ushered into a small room. The nurse took a tiny lead capsule-like-thing, unscrewed it, and dumped the contents out into my hand. I stared at the bright blue pill and thought to myself "Do I really want to do this?" I heard the words of my Endocrinologist and the Radiologist echo through my head. "This is irreversible. Once you take the pill, there is no turning back." I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and popped the pill into my mouth. There was no turning back now.
After three days of solitude, I was back on my feet and ready to greet the world.

Summer 08, IV.
Ask anyone. I hate packing. Packing stresses me out more than a history test that I didn't get the study guide for. It's that bad. Nevertheless, I packed the majority of my belongings and headed for Nashville. It was time for Truth & Peace. There are so many things I could say about Truth & Peace. It was amazing. God really spoke to me. He revealed so much to me. The friends that I made there are truly for a lifetime. I wish I could say more, but it really is hard to sum up something that life-changing.
After two weeks at FWBBC, we loaded on a couple of charter buses and moved to Charleston, WV for the National Association of Free Will Baptists Convention. I love the nationals more than an emo kid loves girl pants. I worked Tic-Tac-Toe doors, Seminars, a Gopher, and the Highway 456 kid's class. Honestly the Nationals are even better once you see how it's put together, how it works. I have much more appreciation for all those who devote their time for something like this.
National Competition. Always a highlight. My piano solo and individual drama happened to co-inside. That was a dramatic mess. But nevertheless, it all turned out okay. Amazingly I made it past the pretest in TruthQuest. When all was said and done, I walked away with second place in TruthQuest, third in piano, second in short story, and first in computer art. The awards ceremony was a riot. Never, ever let me sit behind the announcer. Yes, that means I am on screen, and yes, that means I will do all I can to embarrass myself. And I had fun with that, too.
July 24, 2008. One of the saddest days of my life. It was so hard to leave everyone behind. Some, I will see numerous times throughout the year. Others, I will hopefully see next year. And others, I will never see again. I had to force myself to walk out the door. Everything that was within me pleaded for me to stay for just a few more minutes. But I had to go.
Soon I was on the road to Plymouth, NC. Vacation. Nothing really work speaking of happened. Just, peace and a couple arguments about shutting my mom's hand in the window and mayonnaise. The norm.
We picked my nephews up on the way home from Nashville. A whirlwind week.

So here I am. Chapter V, so to speak. School starts Thursday. I really don't know what to expect. I am still sick with Graves'. That is one thing that I cannot escape from. It will haunt me and effect me the rest of my life. But I know that God is taking care of me. Even now that I have more health problems popping up, I'm still staying optimistic.

"If there is one thing i know, it's that beauty comes from pain. The love that God offers will change everything."

All i know is that I am a new person. God loves me, and I want that love to radiate through me.

The Other Katie

She is the most outgoing, yet shy person that I have ever met. She is strong, she is sarcastic, she is unique. She is my best friend. When Katie was twelve, she sprained her ankle. Within hours, she was rushed to the hospital. It turns out, Katie had a very rare blood trait, Factor Five. She also contracted the MRSA staff infection. Over the course of three months, Katie had gone though eleven surgeries., one of them being open heart surgery. Katie is the strongest person I know. She is very sarcastic, and people who do not know her well often have a hard time discerning whether she is joking or not. She is definitely a blonde. She once asked me “How in the world do people go to the South Pole without falling off the Earth?” but that doesn’t top the time she told me that she thought “Islam” was a kind of lunch meat. Katie is a strong Christian. She has told me repeatedly that the only way she made it through her illness was with the help of Jesus. Although Katie is a strong person, there are times when she is weak and scared. She often wishes that she was as strong as she was when she was twelve. She often worries what the future holds for her. But through it all, she still has a joyous outlook on life, and she still takes the time to try to comfort and cheer up those who are hurting around her. She is one of the most selfless people that I know. Anyone who has ever made her acquaintance is truly blessed.


I LOVE YOU, KATIE!

hello all.
i started work today.
it wasn't too bad, i suppose.
its just going to take some getting used to.

i'm supposed to work from 4-10 tomorrow. but i swear, if i dont feel better there is no possible way on this earth i am going. i feel so sick. my throat hurts (also a few pus pockets popping up), im extremely fatigued, i can't concentrate, i can barely stand up without getting dizzy. i'm going to have to go to the doctor monday. but how am i going to make it past tomorrow?
i do not know. and its stressing me out.
not to mention, if i have what we think i have (uh-oh) im going to have to miss school for at least a week. and we have finals coming up soon...what on earth am i going to do?

only three more weeks.
i just keep repeating that to myself.
three three three.
i can't hardly believe it.
Sophomore year has gone by so fast.
Next year i'll be a Junior, then a Senior...
then its off to college. gosh thats freakin' scary and exciting at the same time.
i honestly cannot wait to move to Nashville.
I'll be there for four years...
then on to training...
then to Japan, maybe?
a scary thought. so exciting though.

well i must be getting to bed.

oh gosh. im so horrible about keeping up with this thing. my apologies!
today is the official start of...Spring Break! i am SO happy its finally here. I was starting to feel totally burned out on school. the break is welcome.

thankfully we only have 4 more weeks of school after this. (sadly, i've been telling everyone that we only had 3. my bad!) now THAT is something to be excited about! gosh i have so much going on this summer its crazy! State Competition (speaking of which i am no where NEAR done learning my piano piece, and i still haven't found a suitable monologue), Camp, hopefully staying with my sister in Nashville (and my bro too), TRUTH&PEACE, the Nationals, vacation out to NC to see my grandma, and, of course, working. yes, i have a job now. scary though, aye? at Quiznos. i was hired last week! but i haven't started yet...actually, im not even sure when i start. hopefully not this week. haha. no, im just kidding. like my dad said "Everything changes from now on. you cant just do what you want. you have to listen to your boss..." Oy im scared. no, seriously. i am. but hey, i need the money.

i had one of the most....interesting arguments last night. it was one of those Calvinism vs. Arminianism debates. dont you just love those? ha. one of my friends from school (a school run by a fundamental independent baptist church) called me and out of the blue asked me "so...you guys dont believe in 'once saved, always saved' do you?" The great thing was he used the arguments that Calvinists are known for using. i couldn't help but laugh. So to prove MY point i gave him Hebrews 6:4-6, (in KJV since that was what he was using.)

For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost,And have tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come, If they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame.

so he told me that that passage meant that "it is impossible for man to forfeit his salvation" i don't know HOW he got that out of that passage, because to me that is black and white. you CAN forfeit your salvation. you CAN turn away. If we have freedom in Christ, to say that we don't have the choice to give up our salvation, is in fact total bondage. to say that is to say that we no longer have freedom or a free will. I told him that too. But in the end whats going to matter is "did you believe that Jesus died on the cross and rose again?" its not going to be "were you a Calvinist or an Arminian?" ah and he did give me John 10: 28-29 (And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand.) to which i said "yes. that verse is true. no man can remove you from His hand. But you yourself, can" to which he acknowledged that i had made a good point. but that was the argument. I'm not changing my opinion, hes not changing his.

good morning, all.
its 7:36 and i have to leave for school in a couple minutes so this will be a quick blog.
I just want to tell you all about this stupid skit we're doing at school tonight.
Its a spoof off of American Idol. (now "Ozarks Idolatry") yea, i have to be obsessed with sports, and sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" in a southern accent. (i'm from Durham, NC), the only problem is i really don't know the words. i never had. when i was little i just made up words to it (and got made fun of for it) so tonight could be interesting.
But if i embarrass myself too bad, at least i' m leaving for Nashville at 6 tomorrow morning for Isaac's 7th birthday.

well i have got to get to school. :)

long time, no post.

I just realized that it has been over two months since i've posted. things have been crazy:)
ok so i'm going to cut right to the quick here and talk about things that have been bothering me lately. i seriously feel like life is passing me by. almost as if someone has made a movie about me, and i'm just sitting there; helpless to change what is going on. its like things aren't even real anymore. they say that these are the best years of your life; that we should enjoy them, but honestly its hard to when you don't even feel like your actually living your life. maybe i need to do something...get away from routine...i need something real and tangible in my life right now, but i really don't know what. maybe i should start reading my Bible more. I really want to draw closer to Jesus. sometimes i feel like such a hypocrite because i act like i'm this "super-Christian" and that i know everything about the Bible, and that because i'm a pastor's daughter, i'm super close to God, but in reality, i still feel like i was just saved yesterday and that i'm new to this whole thing. For being a Christian for 12 years now, you'd think that i would be a mature Christian by now. But i suppose the best way to remedy this is by actually getting in the Word. I want to be a missionary, so its imperative that i be close to Him (not just because i want to be a missionary. its truly important for every Christian to grow spiritually) but those are just a few things that have been troubling me lately. add on the drama and the guys and i suppose i'm leading a normal teen's life. (despite the fact i am far from normal) but anyway just want to make a post to let you know i'm still here. :) [[even though no one reads this blog. :)]]